I'm at the point in my life where the decisions that I make now, are what will shape the rest of my life. Well, at least it feels that way to me. Is it bad to say that I find solace in the knowledge that I am not alone in this? Many of my friends at uni who are graduating this year are also in the same boat - to stay or to leave? For good? :s Honestly, the ideal solution to this intensely emotionally and mentally draining problem is that one morning, I will wake up, and everything would have sorted itself out - there will be one clear sign, one that leaves no room for misinterpretation, that will point me in the right direction... Hah! I know, keep dreaming right?
They say that ignorance is bliss. But also, knowledge is power? And so I am, to put it simply, torn. The past weekend was easily the most stress-free 2 days I have had in a very long time i.e. ignorance = bliss. And then suddenly, I was back in my regular life surrounded by all these crossroads (yes, I am not just at one, but MANY crossroads... it may not be physically possible, but figuratively, it definitely is!).
It's funny in a way because the natural way of dealing with difficult choices is to sleep on it for a bit. But when you have a deadline looming, all you are doing is putting more pressure on yourself to make a choice in a shorter time. I am so tempted to push this matter out of my head until December, but I know that come December, I will be at my wit's end trying to figure out what best to do. If I was crazy, which I am definitely on my way to becoming, I would say 'make granola'. Why? Because it's healthy and it tastes good...
So I am tempted to do the lazy thing (some would call it Taoist?) and just go any way the wind blows. But at what cost? And then I start weighing the pros and cons again... It's a vicious cycle.
Argh. First post in awhile, and it's this emo.
Good job... ? :p
At times like this, I wish I was a sheep... One that they breed for wool, not meat of course. And all I have to worry about is where the tasty grass is...
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Monday, 23 August 2010
“To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.”Apparently people who are born in the Chinese zodiac year of the rabbit are not risk takers. I beg to differ. So maybe the risks that I take are ones that have been carefully weighed but what's life without a bit of excitement? So I say - step out of your comfort zone once in awhile and just take the leap.
Easier said than done? :p
Sunday, 22 August 2010
A few random thoughts -
Recently I've been thinking a lot about the concept of reciprocity, i.e. the concept of 'it takes two hands to clap'. In this world, it feels to me like everyone is treading the fine line between what's too much and what's too little; worrying too much about who cares about what; and all the other implications of their actions. Don't get me wrong, I would never do something that could/would be bad for another person, but when it comes to certain things, I'm a huge advocate of the philosophy of just closing your eyes and taking the leap. Having said that, how does one do something, say something, feel something without blowing it completely out of proportion? On the other hand, how does one do something, say something, and/or feel something and make it substantial enough to be significant?
I have always been and will always be a firm believer in the concept of reaping what you yourself sow, and that while fate may be predetermined, I'd like to believe that it has the flexibility to allow for sheer hard work, determination and dedication to chart a new course for it. Then again, I've also always been a hopeless optimist. No point in being anything less, right?
From my observations, I've realised that life always throws you a curveball when you least expect it. (Yes, a very American phrase, but so appropriate!) Sometimes for the worse, and sometimes for the better. But ultimately, even the worst things happen for a reason and fearing the consequences before even making your move means that life could end up being one tame (and boring!) roller-coaster ride.
What was it that they say is the spice of life? Variety? Idiocy? :p
And since, I've recently become quite fond of the word 'amalgamate', I will use it in a sentence in this post :) - This post is an amalgamation of some of the more prominent thoughts that have been going through my mind in the past week or so. Ok so maybe not the best use of the word, but hey, it works... somewhat...
I have always been and will always be a firm believer in the concept of reaping what you yourself sow, and that while fate may be predetermined, I'd like to believe that it has the flexibility to allow for sheer hard work, determination and dedication to chart a new course for it. Then again, I've also always been a hopeless optimist. No point in being anything less, right?
From my observations, I've realised that life always throws you a curveball when you least expect it. (Yes, a very American phrase, but so appropriate!) Sometimes for the worse, and sometimes for the better. But ultimately, even the worst things happen for a reason and fearing the consequences before even making your move means that life could end up being one tame (and boring!) roller-coaster ride.
What was it that they say is the spice of life? Variety? Idiocy? :p
And since, I've recently become quite fond of the word 'amalgamate', I will use it in a sentence in this post :) - This post is an amalgamation of some of the more prominent thoughts that have been going through my mind in the past week or so. Ok so maybe not the best use of the word, but hey, it works... somewhat...
Friday, 1 January 2010
Happy New Year 2010!
I love ushering in the new year because of the possibilities that it presents me with. Being the optimist that I am - the new year means new people, new trends, new lessons, new experiences... the list of new somethings is virtually endless! So you can just imagine how exciting it is to step into this new year (this new decade, actually) knowing that there is room for so many wonderful things to be seen and done. Remember the good times from last year, and leave all the bad times in the past where they belong - time to build some awesome new memories :)
The best word to describe my new year's eve celebrations last night is... interesting(?). I had decided to be a champion of sorts and attend 2 new year's celebrations in one night. Well, it seemed like a good idea then. Bad move!! Had an amazing time with friends - dinner, champagne and an awesome view of the KLCC fireworks from the 25th floor of the Traders Hotel. What more could I ask for right? The company of my other friends... Greedy me. To cut the long story short, my first morning of 2010 (after the nice dinner and fireworks) involved sweaty crowds, littered city streets, jam-packed public transport (LRT), an expensive cab ride, driving around in a frantic rush, and a failed clubbing outing. Finally got home and into my bed at 5a.m. Haha. Eventful much?
Having said that, I didn't mind any of it one bit :) The company that I was in more than made up for all the shortcomings mentioned above. (cue *awwww*)
Some people say that how you start the new year is how you'll be spending the rest of the year... If that is true, I'm going to have to prepare myself for one giant roller-coaster ride this 2010.
2 words - BRING IT :p
Happy New Year, everyone!
Random photo of the night - the fountain at KLCC park as seen from 'The Apartment' balcony
Monday, 7 December 2009
Joshua Kadison - Jessie
I've heard this song on the radio before but never really paid any particular attention to it. Then just now, I happened upon it on YouTube (since I'm highly jobless :p). I read the lyrics while listening to the song and that was when the honest, raw emotion of the song hit me - it really is a pretty darn good song :) And which incidentally was written by the singer with reference to Sarah Jessica Parker of SATC fame (whom this Joshua dude dated for awhile)!
So, crappy 90s-style music video and weird tarzan-esque hairstyle aside, do give the song a listen if you haven't already.
So, crappy 90s-style music video and weird tarzan-esque hairstyle aside, do give the song a listen if you haven't already.
From a phone booth in Vegas, Jessie calls at 5 A.M.
to tell me how she's tired of all of them.
She says, "Baby, I've been thinking 'bout a trailer by the sea.
We could go to Mexico... you, the cat and me.
We'll drink tequila and look for sea shells.
Now, doesn't that sound sweet?"
Oh, Jessie, you always do this every time I get back on my feet.
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.
She asks me how the cat's been. I say, "Moses he's just fine
but he used to think about you all the time.
We finally took your pictures down off the wall.
Oh, Jessie, how do you always seem to know just when to call?"
She says, "Get your stuff together. Bring mose and drive real fast."
And I listen to her promise, "I swear to God this time it's gonna last."
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
I'll love you in the sunshine, lay you down in the warm white sand.
And who knows, maybe this time things'll turn out just the way you planned.
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.
to tell me how she's tired of all of them.
She says, "Baby, I've been thinking 'bout a trailer by the sea.
We could go to Mexico... you, the cat and me.
We'll drink tequila and look for sea shells.
Now, doesn't that sound sweet?"
Oh, Jessie, you always do this every time I get back on my feet.
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.
She asks me how the cat's been. I say, "Moses he's just fine
but he used to think about you all the time.
We finally took your pictures down off the wall.
Oh, Jessie, how do you always seem to know just when to call?"
She says, "Get your stuff together. Bring mose and drive real fast."
And I listen to her promise, "I swear to God this time it's gonna last."
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
I'll love you in the sunshine, lay you down in the warm white sand.
And who knows, maybe this time things'll turn out just the way you planned.
Jessie paint your pictures 'bout how it's gonna be.
By now I should know better, your dreams are never free.
But tell me all about our little trailer by the sea;
Jessie you can always sell any dream to me.
Oh, Jessie, you can always sell any dream to me.
Sunday, 8 November 2009
Life's Too Short
I know I haven't been blogging as frequently as I would like to. But I've been busy trying to eat right, sleep right, and study right. All of which I have 'sort of' been doing pretty well.
Except tonight, I can't sleep just yet. My sister just told me about a relative who suddenly just had 2 strokes and is now in a coma and on life support. He's most probably not going to make it through. And I'm not sure what triggered it, but I suddenly realised that no one knows when their time on this earth will end. You could be laughing and dancing one day, and gone the next. Life's just too short. And that's why, I guess, some people are always doing as many things as they can do, trying as many things as they can try, seeing as many things as they can see. Good for them I guess. People like me on the other hand, are always wishing to do things but hardly ever get down to actually doing them.
There are so many little things that worry us. But when something like this happens, we suddenly see all these things for their true trivial nature. Who cares if you spilled juice on your shirt in front of 20 other people; or if you accidentally bumped your nose on the glass window in a crowded shop? No one's going to remember it in a few days anyway.
The possibility of death is everpresent in our daily life but the average human being has somehow managed to block it from their view; pretend that is it not there; as if not thinking about it will make it seem less likely to happen and eventually cease to exist. When Death comes knocking when you least expect it, you suddenly realise all these things that you have yet to do - suddenly there is a whole list of places to visit, people to see, things to say. And this realisation is quite an overwhelming feeling - one that leaves you crying in shock, gasping for breath and praying desperately for sanity to return once again.
Morbid yes. But also so, so real.
I guess at the end of the day, no one really wants to live their life endlessly fearing what might happen in the next moment. So for now, it's best to just carry on living the way we always have - in a state of blissful ignorance. Whoever who coined the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' must have been one hell of a champion at being in a constant state of denial.
So yes, now that this is off my chest, I can once again sleep peacefully. (fingers crossed!)
I just wish everyone wasn't dying so quickly. You never seem to get to spend enough time with the people who matter the most to you - any length of time is never enough. I know what it feels like to lose the most important person in the world and hate the fact that other people have to experience that same horrible feeling too. Again and again. But life's like that?
So much for sleeping peacefully...
(also, sorry that this post - my first one in awhile - has to be such an emo one)
Except tonight, I can't sleep just yet. My sister just told me about a relative who suddenly just had 2 strokes and is now in a coma and on life support. He's most probably not going to make it through. And I'm not sure what triggered it, but I suddenly realised that no one knows when their time on this earth will end. You could be laughing and dancing one day, and gone the next. Life's just too short. And that's why, I guess, some people are always doing as many things as they can do, trying as many things as they can try, seeing as many things as they can see. Good for them I guess. People like me on the other hand, are always wishing to do things but hardly ever get down to actually doing them.
There are so many little things that worry us. But when something like this happens, we suddenly see all these things for their true trivial nature. Who cares if you spilled juice on your shirt in front of 20 other people; or if you accidentally bumped your nose on the glass window in a crowded shop? No one's going to remember it in a few days anyway.
The possibility of death is everpresent in our daily life but the average human being has somehow managed to block it from their view; pretend that is it not there; as if not thinking about it will make it seem less likely to happen and eventually cease to exist. When Death comes knocking when you least expect it, you suddenly realise all these things that you have yet to do - suddenly there is a whole list of places to visit, people to see, things to say. And this realisation is quite an overwhelming feeling - one that leaves you crying in shock, gasping for breath and praying desperately for sanity to return once again.
Morbid yes. But also so, so real.
I guess at the end of the day, no one really wants to live their life endlessly fearing what might happen in the next moment. So for now, it's best to just carry on living the way we always have - in a state of blissful ignorance. Whoever who coined the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' must have been one hell of a champion at being in a constant state of denial.
So yes, now that this is off my chest, I can once again sleep peacefully. (fingers crossed!)
I just wish everyone wasn't dying so quickly. You never seem to get to spend enough time with the people who matter the most to you - any length of time is never enough. I know what it feels like to lose the most important person in the world and hate the fact that other people have to experience that same horrible feeling too. Again and again. But life's like that?
So much for sleeping peacefully...
(also, sorry that this post - my first one in awhile - has to be such an emo one)
Monday, 7 September 2009
Random thought (that I had to postpone the act of brushing my teeth to document here):
I'm really glad that one day, I'll be able to look at this blog, re-read my old posts and reminisce about my past experiences and thoughts. Obviously not all of my life is written in this blog - but a good chunk of the things that matter to me are.
A friend posted this link on Facebook. It's about this man, Jamie Livingston, who decided to take one photo a day for every day of his life and did so for 18 years only to die at the age of 41 from cancer. Now his collection of photos have been put on exhibition for everyone to see. It is both inspiring and heart-wrenching at the same time. Check his photos out here .
I'm really glad that one day, I'll be able to look at this blog, re-read my old posts and reminisce about my past experiences and thoughts. Obviously not all of my life is written in this blog - but a good chunk of the things that matter to me are.
A friend posted this link on Facebook. It's about this man, Jamie Livingston, who decided to take one photo a day for every day of his life and did so for 18 years only to die at the age of 41 from cancer. Now his collection of photos have been put on exhibition for everyone to see. It is both inspiring and heart-wrenching at the same time. Check his photos out here .
Saturday, 29 August 2009
Hhhmm
It's funny how I could never imagine how anyone who fell IN love could ever fall OUT of it. But I guess, you'll never know until it happens to you, right?
So yeah, I've realised that it is indeed possible (thankfully!) to fall out of love... For a broken heart to mend itself - time actually does heal :)
(THANK GOD!) :p
Now I understand how Carrie Bradshaw could have SOO many boyfriends in all the 6 seasons of Sex and the City
So yeah, I've realised that it is indeed possible (thankfully!) to fall out of love... For a broken heart to mend itself - time actually does heal :)
(THANK GOD!) :p
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
A Few Lessons Learned
- There is hope yet to find my Mr. Right. I watched a friend find hers right infront of my eyes :) Now I just have to pray really REALLY hard that I'll find mine soon.
- You don't even have to be remotely drunk to dance if the music and the company are good.
- Mushroom pizza ain't all that great...
- Good concealer is MAGIC. Made my snowboarding bruise invisible. Nyehehe.
- Don't ever use a unisex toilet in a club/bar (unless you reaaally need to pee). Dodgy things happen. And there is always a very suspicious-looking puddle of god-knows-what on the floor around the toilet bowl. Blegh :s
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Alone Time
Then just now, I watched an episode of Sex and the City about being single and still feeling confident about yourself - not needing a man in your life to feel good but to just feel good being on your own. And it made me think of trying a few things out for myself. Perhaps try watching a movie alone, dining alone, taking a walk in the park alone? The list is endless! And the outcome of it all? I would say confidence, independence, contentment - just an overall NICE feeling.
I guess some people would feel insecure about doing things without other people to keep them company. Sometimes I find myself thinking "What would people be thinking if they saw me out alone?" Would they assume that I'm a loner with no friends and pity me? Would they just walk past without a second thought? Or perhaps they would realise that I'm comfortable just being on my own and respect that? But then I've figured that the key to being able to do all these things alone would be to not care about what others think. And I think that almost everyone worries too much about what other people think of them and how other people perceive them. Why is it so important?
A few months ago, I tried shopping alone. And it felt really good! Just slowly browsing through clothes and shoes and accessories without a care in the world, lost in my own thoughts, totally contented with the fact that I was all by myself. It was almost therapeutic! Since then, I've gone shopping alone a few times more. But of course, shopping with friends is really fun too!! :)
I still haven't tried watching a movie in the cinema alone or having dinner out alone but would like to. Once I pluck up enough courage to... :p
*Just something I've been thinking about a lot lately... So many more related thoughts in my head but I just don't know how to word them.*
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
I've just spent the past hour reading random blogs and going through my old, old facebook wall posts and am feeling particularly philosophical about life - what it's given me in the past and what it has in store for me in the future.
A few slightly disjointed thoughts:
A few slightly disjointed thoughts:
- It's confusing trying to read into everything that happens in your life and interpreting it as a 'sign' of some sort; Difficult to predict from these supposed 'signs' what lies ahead. And yet, without fail, everyone does exactly that every single day.
- About soulmates: I always wonder if I will find mine, or if such a thing even exists. Recently 2 things I've read/heard regarding this very thing have been featuring constantly in my thoughts. One is what I read in a book that says that a soulmate doesn't have to be someone who remains in your life forever but instead comes into your life in your time of greatest need, to help you, and then leaves once his/her duty is done. The other is what someone told a friend who then told me: that there is not one, but many soulmates for any one person in this world - the key is to stop looking once you've found one soulmate.
- It's interesting how everyone has different ideas of what the ultimate goal of their life should be - some say it's having a successful career and making lots of money; some say it's getting married and having a family; and some don't even look that far ahead but instead choose to live life once day at a time. I always wonder: What is MY ultimate goal in life?
- I just straightened (well, to be accurate, I should say 'relaxed') my hair 1 week ago but can't help noticing what looks like the beginnings of a curl in one particular lock of hair... Meh. So much for having straight hair for a change.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Seeing Ghosts...
I'm trying very hard to study for my first exam on Tuesday, but my mind keeps going back to one thought - triggered by my seeing a certain 'ghost' from my recent past.
I'm usually one who is big on the whole 'forgive and forget' attitude. But as I've only just learnt, some things once forgiven (or maybe not really...) cannot be forgotten. It's like a wound that keeps closing on the surface but never heals properly on the inside. Just ruin the skin covering it, and the wound is exposed once more.
No matter how hard I try to justify certain events that have happened, I keep coming back to this one huge, gaping question that I simply cannot find the answer to - how can there be such cruel, selfish, and hurtful people in this world? How can someone, a totally normal human being, do something so inherently evil and just carry on with their life without an ounce of guilt or remorse for their actions?
It just doesn't make sense.
Or perhaps the remorse and guilt are there... Only that they choose to bury them and not look at them.
But at least I have a cure for the confusion that thinking about something like this brings - think of people like Barrack Obama and Dr. Charles Teo and Elizabeth Gilbert and I feel so much happier knowing that there are still are so many good people around :)
In 'The Sound of Music', Maria sang about raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and all her other 'favourite things' to make herself feel better when she was down. I guess the people mentioned above, along with my awesome(!) family and friends are MY 'favourite things' :p
That, and 'Sex and the City' :) :)
I'm usually one who is big on the whole 'forgive and forget' attitude. But as I've only just learnt, some things once forgiven (or maybe not really...) cannot be forgotten. It's like a wound that keeps closing on the surface but never heals properly on the inside. Just ruin the skin covering it, and the wound is exposed once more.
No matter how hard I try to justify certain events that have happened, I keep coming back to this one huge, gaping question that I simply cannot find the answer to - how can there be such cruel, selfish, and hurtful people in this world? How can someone, a totally normal human being, do something so inherently evil and just carry on with their life without an ounce of guilt or remorse for their actions?
It just doesn't make sense.
Or perhaps the remorse and guilt are there... Only that they choose to bury them and not look at them.
But at least I have a cure for the confusion that thinking about something like this brings - think of people like Barrack Obama and Dr. Charles Teo and Elizabeth Gilbert and I feel so much happier knowing that there are still are so many good people around :)
In 'The Sound of Music', Maria sang about raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens, and all her other 'favourite things' to make herself feel better when she was down. I guess the people mentioned above, along with my awesome(!) family and friends are MY 'favourite things' :p
That, and 'Sex and the City' :) :)
Thursday, 11 June 2009
This picture was taken one cloudy day, when I looked out of my window in Melbourne and saw not one, but TWO rainbows!! :)
It's the hard times that teach you to appreciate the good times so much more...
It's the hard times that teach you to appreciate the good times so much more...
Been slowly catching up on 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. It's having a positively positive effect on my outlook on life. I find that I can really relate to the emotional roller-coaster that is Elizabeth Gilbert - her thoughts, feelings, temperament and rationale are all so similar to mine. We share the same zodiac sign... And very nearly the same birthday (3 days apart!). Coincidence? Or am I just seeing what I want to see?
My good friend, Nishi, told me what her Behavioural Economics lecturer told her class when he couldn't figure out one of the economic models that he was trying to explain (but kept getting confused) - "Well, I suppose if you think about it enough you'll start believing it. I mean, the Pope probably just kept thinking about God until he eventually started believing in Him, right?"
...
Lol! That was an actual quote (might have been slightly different when he said it, but you get the picture).
Laugh. Coz you know it's funny :p
Monday, 25 May 2009
Serendipity
I recently watched the movie, Serendipity, starring Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack. My first thought was - "What a stupid movie".
Indeed, it was kinda dumb. The cheesy 'love-at-first-sight' (yes, I'm a non-believer); the annoying mis-coincidences... i.e. how they just kept missing each other at every place they went to; the crazy, frantic dashing around trying to find each other. Meh.
BUT (and there always is a but)
I could appreciate one thing (I use the word 'thing' because I can't find a better word to describe it) in this movie - the idea of leaving everything to fate. Though I don't believe that everything is fated, I do think that sometimes things happen for a reason (fate?) and sometimes we have to make our own fate, pave our own path, charter our own course.
This movie however got me thinking about how easy and convenient and comfortable it would be for us if we could just leave everything to fate - put all our trust in the fact that if something was meant to happen, then fate would take it's due course and make it happen. It certainly takes a lot of pressure off of wondering whether you should make that first move on the guy that you fancy or how much hard work you should put in for your exam preparation. It would be so simple to just live life without the burden of thinking that "good things come to people who work hard enough for them" and let everything else be determined by fate.
Yeah.... No. I think that kind of thing only exists in movies. In the real world, we make things happen on our own. Well, most of the time.
Taoism says that "the universe works harmoniously according to its own ways and that exerting one's will on the world will disrupt this harmony".
I can't remember why I quoted that... It's too late and my brain is dying from a lack of sleep. So I shall end this post here and leave you to ponder about the Taoism quote on your own :p Good luck.
Indeed, it was kinda dumb. The cheesy 'love-at-first-sight' (yes, I'm a non-believer); the annoying mis-coincidences... i.e. how they just kept missing each other at every place they went to; the crazy, frantic dashing around trying to find each other. Meh.
BUT (and there always is a but)
I could appreciate one thing (I use the word 'thing' because I can't find a better word to describe it) in this movie - the idea of leaving everything to fate. Though I don't believe that everything is fated, I do think that sometimes things happen for a reason (fate?) and sometimes we have to make our own fate, pave our own path, charter our own course.
This movie however got me thinking about how easy and convenient and comfortable it would be for us if we could just leave everything to fate - put all our trust in the fact that if something was meant to happen, then fate would take it's due course and make it happen. It certainly takes a lot of pressure off of wondering whether you should make that first move on the guy that you fancy or how much hard work you should put in for your exam preparation. It would be so simple to just live life without the burden of thinking that "good things come to people who work hard enough for them" and let everything else be determined by fate.
Yeah.... No. I think that kind of thing only exists in movies. In the real world, we make things happen on our own. Well, most of the time.
Taoism says that "the universe works harmoniously according to its own ways and that exerting one's will on the world will disrupt this harmony".
I can't remember why I quoted that... It's too late and my brain is dying from a lack of sleep. So I shall end this post here and leave you to ponder about the Taoism quote on your own :p Good luck.
Monday, 16 March 2009
Love Is In The Air?? Really???
So is love the warm fuzzy feeling we get in the pit of our tummy when we think about that special someone? Is it real? Or does it only exist in our minds - a figment of our imagination. That desperate need that is innately present in every one of us to feel needed and wanted - is this feeling born of that desperation?
I for one believe that love really does exist. If it's possible for a mother to love her child in such a simple and unconditional manner, surely then it is possible for a man to love a woman and vice versa?
When I was younger, growing up on a diet of Disney fairytales and a hodgepodge of other 'happily ever after' movies and tv shows, I used to think that Love only happened once in your life - that you'll meet that one perfect guy and fall madly and deeply in love with him and he with you (coz it has to be a mutual thing) and then you'll date for a few years (and still stay madly in love with each other) and then eventually get married, have kids and grow old together and live Happily Ever After.
Yeah right.
I still am a devout believer in the fact that it is possible to really fall in love - to truly experience love and all the bittersweet times that come with it. But I've now come to realise that it is possible to fall in and out of love. Of course, it doesn't happen overnight. But it happens. And when it does, you just need to pick yourself up and know that you can fall in love again. Yup, I now also realise that (good news!!) you can fall in love MORE THAN ONCE in your lifetime :) That there's more than one guy who'll be perfect for you. That there isn't such a thing as 'the perfect guy'. But that you can find one that's pretty darn close to perfect (in your eyes!).
Lately I've been hearing so many stories about couples breaking up. Couples that have been going out for ages and that you'd think were on their way to marriage. And it's really made me rethink my fundamental thoughts about marriage and relationships. And I still haven't properly answered all these questions that have come up - Is marriage more of an agreement than a declaration of love? Are we better off marrying someone whom we know we can depend on but only count as a friend rather than a man that we could be totally in love with but would make the crappiest husband in the world? Does every marriage eventually become a mundane routine that people stick to just because they're too comfortable to do anything else? Is it normal to date someone for 5 years and then break-up and then date another person for just 3 months and get married?
I know, I'm still only 21. ONLY 21 :p But I can't help being affected by the things that surround me. And even though I'm in no hurry to settle down, I still can't help trying to figure out where my life's path is headed to and where it'll lead me.
Only a year ago, it hadn't occured to me how uncertain life is; how many times we come to crossroads; how many times our path diverges; the endless decisions that we have to make, not knowing whether or not we've made the right ones. And sometimes, never finding out if we did. Now I'm slowly learning just how many things in life DON'T have one clear, correct answer/choice/path.
I remember playing this silly little boardgame with my sister and cousins years ago called 'The Game of Life'. And thinking back to it makes me want to laugh at the irony of the situation - now I know that Life IS a Game and it's one that we have no choice but to play.
The good thing is, I've always been kinda competitive in nature (not TOTALLY crazy pyscho competitive, but more competitive than your average joe la). In this game, I might not come out tops, but I sure will make sure I play my best (when I'm not feeling lazy that is :p).
Suddenly all these analogies about life and rollercoasters and sin x curves and boxes of chocolates are starting to make sense... :p
I for one believe that love really does exist. If it's possible for a mother to love her child in such a simple and unconditional manner, surely then it is possible for a man to love a woman and vice versa?
When I was younger, growing up on a diet of Disney fairytales and a hodgepodge of other 'happily ever after' movies and tv shows, I used to think that Love only happened once in your life - that you'll meet that one perfect guy and fall madly and deeply in love with him and he with you (coz it has to be a mutual thing) and then you'll date for a few years (and still stay madly in love with each other) and then eventually get married, have kids and grow old together and live Happily Ever After.
Yeah right.
I still am a devout believer in the fact that it is possible to really fall in love - to truly experience love and all the bittersweet times that come with it. But I've now come to realise that it is possible to fall in and out of love. Of course, it doesn't happen overnight. But it happens. And when it does, you just need to pick yourself up and know that you can fall in love again. Yup, I now also realise that (good news!!) you can fall in love MORE THAN ONCE in your lifetime :) That there's more than one guy who'll be perfect for you. That there isn't such a thing as 'the perfect guy'. But that you can find one that's pretty darn close to perfect (in your eyes!).
Lately I've been hearing so many stories about couples breaking up. Couples that have been going out for ages and that you'd think were on their way to marriage. And it's really made me rethink my fundamental thoughts about marriage and relationships. And I still haven't properly answered all these questions that have come up - Is marriage more of an agreement than a declaration of love? Are we better off marrying someone whom we know we can depend on but only count as a friend rather than a man that we could be totally in love with but would make the crappiest husband in the world? Does every marriage eventually become a mundane routine that people stick to just because they're too comfortable to do anything else? Is it normal to date someone for 5 years and then break-up and then date another person for just 3 months and get married?
I know, I'm still only 21. ONLY 21 :p But I can't help being affected by the things that surround me. And even though I'm in no hurry to settle down, I still can't help trying to figure out where my life's path is headed to and where it'll lead me.
Only a year ago, it hadn't occured to me how uncertain life is; how many times we come to crossroads; how many times our path diverges; the endless decisions that we have to make, not knowing whether or not we've made the right ones. And sometimes, never finding out if we did. Now I'm slowly learning just how many things in life DON'T have one clear, correct answer/choice/path.
I remember playing this silly little boardgame with my sister and cousins years ago called 'The Game of Life'. And thinking back to it makes me want to laugh at the irony of the situation - now I know that Life IS a Game and it's one that we have no choice but to play.
The good thing is, I've always been kinda competitive in nature (not TOTALLY crazy pyscho competitive, but more competitive than your average joe la). In this game, I might not come out tops, but I sure will make sure I play my best (when I'm not feeling lazy that is :p).
Suddenly all these analogies about life and rollercoasters and sin x curves and boxes of chocolates are starting to make sense... :p
Friday, 20 February 2009
Neither Black Nor White
I'm always bewildered when something happens and I expect the answer to be a clear cut 'yes' or 'no' but ends up being something in between. I'm beginning to realise that as I'm exposed to more new (new to me) situations that nothing is ever black or white but is instead always a shade of gray. You can like someone and not like them at the same time; you can feel hungry and full at the same time; you can want something but not want it at the same time. The list really is endless. Inexhaustive.
And I guess that I'm also learning that this is what we should appreciate about life. Because nothing in real life has a straight answer. Though I'm sure the author of Q&A or Slumdog Millionaire as it is now known would like to differ - according to him, life CAN be a multiple choice question. And learning this is the hardest part when you've led a sheltered and fairly problem-free life the whole time before this.
Oh well. As Alanis Morissette once sang - "You live, you learn".
And I guess that I'm also learning that this is what we should appreciate about life. Because nothing in real life has a straight answer. Though I'm sure the author of Q&A or Slumdog Millionaire as it is now known would like to differ - according to him, life CAN be a multiple choice question. And learning this is the hardest part when you've led a sheltered and fairly problem-free life the whole time before this.
Oh well. As Alanis Morissette once sang - "You live, you learn".
Saturday, 7 February 2009
I ♥ Love: Why Is Valentine's Day So BIG???
Love - it's a pretty cool thing. Any kind of love, between anyone. It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It makes you feel wanted and appreciated and safe. It puts a smile on your face and a bounce in your every step.
But the biggest question is how do we express this love? Do you show it in an extravagant and flashy way by giving them the best gifts you can afford? By publicly declaring your love? By gushing continously about 'the love of your life' to everyone and anyone willing to listen? Or do you express your love quietly? And in line with this 'biggest question' of how to express your love, what do you do on Valentine's Day?Do you choose to go all out - flowers, chocolates, a romantic candlelight dinner? Or do you simply acknowledge Valentine's Day as a huge marketing gimmick? Afterall, shouldn't you be celebrating your love everyday? What makes the 14th of February so special?
Yeah, I know the story about St. Valentine. But why this one day? Admittedly, it is nice to do something special once in a while. It feels nice to break the monotony of your usual routine and step outside your little, cosy microcosm. But this can be done on just any day. You can make any day your little personal Valentine's Day. Why must we conform to the expectations of society and celebrate on this one day - February 14?
So I'm still wondering. I like giving people surprises and receiving flowers and everything a normal girl likes but does everything have to be planned to coincide with this ONE day?
:p
But the biggest question is how do we express this love? Do you show it in an extravagant and flashy way by giving them the best gifts you can afford? By publicly declaring your love? By gushing continously about 'the love of your life' to everyone and anyone willing to listen? Or do you express your love quietly? And in line with this 'biggest question' of how to express your love, what do you do on Valentine's Day?Do you choose to go all out - flowers, chocolates, a romantic candlelight dinner? Or do you simply acknowledge Valentine's Day as a huge marketing gimmick? Afterall, shouldn't you be celebrating your love everyday? What makes the 14th of February so special?
Yeah, I know the story about St. Valentine. But why this one day? Admittedly, it is nice to do something special once in a while. It feels nice to break the monotony of your usual routine and step outside your little, cosy microcosm. But this can be done on just any day. You can make any day your little personal Valentine's Day. Why must we conform to the expectations of society and celebrate on this one day - February 14?
So I'm still wondering. I like giving people surprises and receiving flowers and everything a normal girl likes but does everything have to be planned to coincide with this ONE day?
:p
Tuesday, 14 October 2008
Monday, 13 October 2008
In The Dark
Things seem different in the dark; people seem different in the dark; people ARE different in the dark. So what is it about the blanket of nightfall that makes us bold (or even numb) enough to show our true colours? Why is it that things always either seem a lot better or a lot worse in the dark? Hardly ever anything in between - always either one of the two extremes.
Perhaps it's the fact that the dark conceals certain things, flaws, details, you name it - they can all be hidden. Our minds play tricks on us, our emotions see-saw and our eyes just can't see as clearly as we would like them to. People question their sanity with much greater frequency and desperation in the dark. Even the slightest sounds or the smallest movements feeds the paranoia in us. It's no wonder that little kids really believe in the 'Boogeyman'. And us adults, are smart enough to recognise that the Boogeyman does indeed exist except that he is in our heads and not under our beds.
I can't judge people who are brave (or should I say secure) enough to admit their fear of the dark. After all, I am one of them too.
The only thing I can be happy for is the fact that the night doesn't last forever. There's always a new morning waiting to greet you everyday and along with it comes light, sunshine, and sometimes even happiness :p
You could call 'daytime' one of My Favourite Things (think 'The Sound of Music'). Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
Sunday, 12 October 2008
Nostalgia
nos·tal·gia [no-stal-jee-uh] –noun
Nostalgia is a funny feeling - when you think back to earlier times where you had not a care in the world and your biggest fear was your looming History test; when you happily sang along to your favourite Backstreet Boys song; when you looked out of the window in the evening and saw your father return home from work; when your mom sometimes resorted to tickling you just to get you out of bed; when you slept and dreamed of what life would be like once you were grown up - a cool job, the perfect boyfriend, a cute house of your own. How I wish I could go back to those days...
Nothing stays rosy forever. Things change, the people around us change, we change... And not always for the better. But I guess it's just one of those things that we have to learn to accept and deal with. A perfect life is one that is monotonous and uninteresting while a life that is exciting, rewarding and sometimes trying, battle scars and all included, is one that is far from perfect. I say it's the latter kind of life that builds us into better people and makes us stronger for the long haul.
dʒə, | 1. | a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time: a nostalgia for his college days. |
| 2. | something that elicits or displays nostalgia. |
Nostalgia is a funny feeling - when you think back to earlier times where you had not a care in the world and your biggest fear was your looming History test; when you happily sang along to your favourite Backstreet Boys song; when you looked out of the window in the evening and saw your father return home from work; when your mom sometimes resorted to tickling you just to get you out of bed; when you slept and dreamed of what life would be like once you were grown up - a cool job, the perfect boyfriend, a cute house of your own. How I wish I could go back to those days...
Nothing stays rosy forever. Things change, the people around us change, we change... And not always for the better. But I guess it's just one of those things that we have to learn to accept and deal with. A perfect life is one that is monotonous and uninteresting while a life that is exciting, rewarding and sometimes trying, battle scars and all included, is one that is far from perfect. I say it's the latter kind of life that builds us into better people and makes us stronger for the long haul.
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