Monday 16 March 2009

Love Is In The Air?? Really???

So is love the warm fuzzy feeling we get in the pit of our tummy when we think about that special someone? Is it real? Or does it only exist in our minds - a figment of our imagination. That desperate need that is innately present in every one of us to feel needed and wanted - is this feeling born of that desperation?

I for one believe that love really does exist. If it's possible for a mother to love her child in such a simple and unconditional manner, surely then it is possible for a man to love a woman and vice versa?

When I was younger, growing up on a diet of Disney fairytales and a hodgepodge of other 'happily ever after' movies and tv shows, I used to think that Love only happened once in your life - that you'll meet that one perfect guy and fall madly and deeply in love with him and he with you (coz it has to be a mutual thing) and then you'll date for a few years (and still stay madly in love with each other) and then eventually get married, have kids and grow old together and live Happily Ever After.

Yeah right.

I still am a devout believer in the fact that it is possible to really fall in love - to truly experience love and all the bittersweet times that come with it. But I've now come to realise that it is possible to fall in and out of love. Of course, it doesn't happen overnight. But it happens. And when it does, you just need to pick yourself up and know that you can fall in love again. Yup, I now also realise that (good news!!) you can fall in love MORE THAN ONCE in your lifetime :) That there's more than one guy who'll be perfect for you. That there isn't such a thing as 'the perfect guy'. But that you can find one that's pretty darn close to perfect (in your eyes!).

Lately I've been hearing so many stories about couples breaking up. Couples that have been going out for ages and that you'd think were on their way to marriage. And it's really made me rethink my fundamental thoughts about marriage and relationships. And I still haven't properly answered all these questions that have come up - Is marriage more of an agreement than a declaration of love? Are we better off marrying someone whom we know we can depend on but only count as a friend rather than a man that we could be totally in love with but would make the crappiest husband in the world? Does every marriage eventually become a mundane routine that people stick to just because they're too comfortable to do anything else? Is it normal to date someone for 5 years and then break-up and then date another person for just 3 months and get married?

I know, I'm still only 21. ONLY 21 :p But I can't help being affected by the things that surround me. And even though I'm in no hurry to settle down, I still can't help trying to figure out where my life's path is headed to and where it'll lead me.

Only a year ago, it hadn't occured to me how uncertain life is; how many times we come to crossroads; how many times our path diverges; the endless decisions that we have to make, not knowing whether or not we've made the right ones. And sometimes, never finding out if we did. Now I'm slowly learning just how many things in life DON'T have one clear, correct answer/choice/path.

I remember playing this silly little boardgame with my sister and cousins years ago called 'The Game of Life'. And thinking back to it makes me want to laugh at the irony of the situation - now I know that Life IS a Game and it's one that we have no choice but to play.

The good thing is, I've always been kinda competitive in nature (not TOTALLY crazy pyscho competitive, but more competitive than your average joe la). In this game, I might not come out tops, but I sure will make sure I play my best (when I'm not feeling lazy that is :p).

Suddenly all these analogies about life and rollercoasters and sin x curves and boxes of chocolates are starting to make sense... :p

2 comments:

Naveena said...

wow, trully spoken from the heart of one who's loved and lost. U'm sorry that you had to go through what you did but experience tells me that it gets better every time the next time rolls along (if that remotely made any sense at all!)

xx

shobana s. said...

lol navee! what you said kinda did remotely make sense :p

thanks for the advice!
xx