I know I haven't been blogging as frequently as I would like to. But I've been busy trying to eat right, sleep right, and study right. All of which I have 'sort of' been doing pretty well.
Except tonight, I can't sleep just yet. My sister just told me about a relative who suddenly just had 2 strokes and is now in a coma and on life support. He's most probably not going to make it through. And I'm not sure what triggered it, but I suddenly realised that no one knows when their time on this earth will end. You could be laughing and dancing one day, and gone the next. Life's just too short. And that's why, I guess, some people are always doing as many things as they can do, trying as many things as they can try, seeing as many things as they can see. Good for them I guess. People like me on the other hand, are always wishing to do things but hardly ever get down to actually doing them.
There are so many little things that worry us. But when something like this happens, we suddenly see all these things for their true trivial nature. Who cares if you spilled juice on your shirt in front of 20 other people; or if you accidentally bumped your nose on the glass window in a crowded shop? No one's going to remember it in a few days anyway.
The possibility of death is everpresent in our daily life but the average human being has somehow managed to block it from their view; pretend that is it not there; as if not thinking about it will make it seem less likely to happen and eventually cease to exist. When Death comes knocking when you least expect it, you suddenly realise all these things that you have yet to do - suddenly there is a whole list of places to visit, people to see, things to say. And this realisation is quite an overwhelming feeling - one that leaves you crying in shock, gasping for breath and praying desperately for sanity to return once again.
Morbid yes. But also so, so real.
I guess at the end of the day, no one really wants to live their life endlessly fearing what might happen in the next moment. So for now, it's best to just carry on living the way we always have - in a state of blissful ignorance. Whoever who coined the phrase 'ignorance is bliss' must have been one hell of a champion at being in a constant state of denial.
So yes, now that this is off my chest, I can once again sleep peacefully. (fingers crossed!)
I just wish everyone wasn't dying so quickly. You never seem to get to spend enough time with the people who matter the most to you - any length of time is never enough. I know what it feels like to lose the most important person in the world and hate the fact that other people have to experience that same horrible feeling too. Again and again. But life's like that?
So much for sleeping peacefully...
(also, sorry that this post - my first one in awhile - has to be such an emo one)
1 comment:
It's true that yes, people do go without us wanting to and sometimes we don't even understand y they do but they just do.
Realizing that and the fact that yes, we do only think of the things we have yet to do when we're faced with death...you've taken one step forward from all of us and that's a good thing. I just hope that they thought so too.
BTW, eating carbs at night like bread helps put u to sleep =)
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