The Mysteries of Life

I'm the kind of person where everything has to be layed out clearly in front of me and routine is the most important thing in the world (well, not really but you get the picture).

So it comes as no surprise that I am a total failure at analysing people since most of the time, there are no set patterns and no perfect stereotype. Even then, I seem to subconsciously categorise people into little labelled compartments to be stored in my head for further perusal at my leisure. Gosh, I sound psychotic! But seriously, it just comes naturally to me.

The point is that no matter how hard I try to fit everyone into these compartments I've come up with, there always is something that doesn't add up and I end up with a lot of 'unclassifieds' (if that is an actual word?).

An important part of how I deal and interact with the people around me is by this exact process. I need to know what type of person someone is before I can accurately respond to him or her. This all happens very quickly in my brain but the moment I start doing it, I get annoyed at myself for being so darn technical about anything and everything. Spontaneity is what makes this world go round... at least that is what I think. Therefore, its a good thing that not everyone in this world is like me!

I think its both good and bad that I think so much about things. It means that I seldom do anything with serious consequences, but it also means that there is hardly any chance of something truly amazing happening to me. It sucks A LOT. But I guess its a choice that I made, and I'm not sure whether I am ready to be more off-the-cuff, unrehearsed, ad-lib...? I don't think I am ready to face the negative repercussions of certain risks that other people take in life. Call me a coward, and perhaps I am. But I am smart enough to acknowledge the fact that only when I have the courage to do something and be mentally prepared to face the consequences, then will I be able to do things that could possibly make my life more fulfilling.

The greatest mystery of life in my opinion is fate. How it works, whether we really can control it, whether we can forsee it...

I'm tired now and I'm not even sure if all of the above makes sense. I hope it does... in some roundabout way. Sorry for being long-winded!